Dean vs The Grocery List
by TheCleverDame
Summary: Dean x Reader(friendship), Sam x Reader mentioned - Dean's decided to go shopping.


**Summary:** Dean's decided to go shopping.

 **Pairings:** Dean, Reader, Sam x Reader mentioned

 **Warnings:** Language

* * *

"You better hustle! This train is leavin' the station." Dean's familiar voice booms down the hallway. The statement is followed by a series of noises you can only assume are meant to be that of a locomotive horn.

You smile and tug a white t-shirt over your wet hair. You skid around the corner to the kitchen just time to watch Dean stuff the second half of a ham sandwich into his mouth. He grins wide, wiping mayo from the corner of his lips with his sleeve. "Don't wanna shop on an empty stomach."

"You're going? I thought was Sam was doing it?" You frown, searching for an empty coffee mug.

"Well, he was, not any more. Jody was on her way through and her car broke down. He's gonna go save her." Dean nods toward the piping hot cup of coffee you just filled. You sigh and hand it to him, making yourself a second cup. He wiggles his eyebrows in appreciation, sipping carefully.

"You know, I think maybe I'll just wait until this afternoon and go myself. Sam normally knows what to get, it's not a big deal." You offer.

"What is with the two of you? Sam was all weird about it too. Don't be crazy." He looks at you incredulously. "I know you and my brother are in this weird codependent thing-"

"A relationship." you interject.

" _Potato, patato._ Whatever you two need to tell yourselves." He waves his hand dismissively. "You go to your meeting, I'll do this. I'm a grown man. If I can handle ghosts and demons, I can sure as hell handle a trip to Ladow's Supermarket."

"Okay." You concede, still unsure. Dean takes a seat at the table, twirling a pen in his fingers. You and your coffee sit across from him.

"Sam said you'd probably want to add some things. So hit me with the list, but I swear if you mention kale I'll friggin' lose it. There's enough green, leafy bullshit in the fridge to raise a brontosaurus." Dean flattens out a crumpled piece of paper, then looks to you for instruction.

"Definitely some Chobani, the greek kind. Any flavor is fine."

Dean nods, reserving judgement mumbling as he scribbles:

 _gross little yogurt cups, greek_

"Next," He urges, motioning to you to continue.

"A couple pomegranates. Oh, and a gallon of iced tea, unsweetened." you continue and Dean takes note:

 _gross little yogurt cups, greek_

 _big red berry fruit_

 _jug of river water_

"Dean, how are you going to remember what that even means." You raise your eyebrows in apprehension.

"Oh, sweetheart, I know exactly what I'm doing here." He scowls, reviewing his list. "That's it?"

"Ah, no, I need tampons. The variety pack, regular, super and extra…and pads. Light days and overnight. I'm completely out."

Dean's whole body stiffens. He doesn't look at you, just swallows hard, determined to prove a point. He adds to the list:

 _gross little yogurt cups, greek_

 _big red berry fruit_

 _jug of river water_

 _lady stuff, everything they have_

"Please God, tell me that's everything." He sighs, shaking his head slowly.

"Actually," you wince, self-consciously rubbing the back of your neck. "I need you to stop by the pharmacy. Sam was going to pick my birth control. Just tell them my name and they'll give it to you."

"Jesus Christ." Dean mutters under his breath, pinching the bridge of his nose between this thumb and middle finger. His cheeks hollow out when he sucks in a breath, then writes on the list:

 _gross little yogurt cups, greek_

 _big red berry fruit_

 _jug of river water_

 _lady stuff, everything they have_

 _sex pills_

He looks at you, red cheeked, a silent prayer that you're finished.

"That's it." You throw up your hands in defeat.

"All right, I'm gonna do this." He stands up, shoving the paper back into his pocket. Dean sounds more like he's trying to convince himself than you. "Gonna do it."

"Oh, Dean?" You stop him.

"You can't possibly need anything else." He whines.

"Don't forget the coupon envelope."


End file.
